The Urban Sherpa Dictionary, by Christopher DeWan

(imagining whirrled peas, and carrots...)

The Urban Sherpa Dictionary

Can't find what you need? The Urban Sherpa also has a glossary of Internet abbreviations.

alt-country. "Lost my job, my house, my truck.

"Got new ones."

an-ti-mon-i-ous. Adjective. Given to complicating otherwise simple situations in order to make life more of a struggle, and therefore more interesting. Often results in absurd, mundane paradoxes, i.e., "too hungry to eat," "alone in a crowd."

See also autoschadenfreude.

autoschadenfreude. Noun. A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of yourself.

Band Aid. noun. A cosmetic accessory usually worn on a visible limb. It is often confused for medical paraphernalia though it has no medicinal value: anything that can be fixed with a Band Aid wasn't broken to begin with.

caveatemptoraphobia. Noun. 1. When the fear of "buyer's remorse" paralyzes one into inaction. 2. The refusal to accept a perfectly good thing, because it might turn out to be bad.

(See also, Imelda Marcos Syndrome. )

denim lesiure suit. Noun. Jeans worn simultaneously with a jean jacket.

denim leisure suit

er-rand. Noun. An expedition involving the acquisition of some good, usually perceived as essential, when in fact completely unnecessary. Because errands involve a component of travel, they are often confused for a leisure activity. From the root, errant, aimless.

hegemonic power shopping. Gerund. When well-off people (esp. white people) shop quickly, resulting in the rapid accumulation of goods from Banana Republic, J. Crew, Williams Sonoma and Pottery Barn.

Also, shopping for real estate.

horse. Noun. The most majestic enormous thing we're allowed to touch.

Imelda Marcos Syndrome. Noun. The pathological desire to acquire new things in lieu of old things, i.e., shoes, people, etc. In chronic cases, the definition of "old" begins to slip into psychosis: "worn once."

A few shoes

iTangle. The accidental, complex knot that inevitably forms in the cable of iPod headphones. The knot forms itself without any action on the part of the iPod's owner, and is nearly impossible to unravel. See also, iRate.

lib-er-tar-i-an-ism. Noun. The belief that pursuing one's own self-interest, while shirking larger social responsibilities, is still somehow humanitarian.

pants allergies. Noun, plural. A preference for jeans, even in the work place and "grown up" world; an aversion to slacks. Ex: "I can't go to that client meeting! I have serious pants allergies!"

Redisenfranchisement. Noun. A word that sounds like it was invented by George W. Bush, and to some degree, it actually was.

Socratic Methadone. Noun. The technique of using the Socratic Method upon one's self, to call one's every belief and value into question. Though use of the technique initially leads to feelings of euphoria, the practice is habit-forming, and may lead to headaches, nausea, hypoventilation, irritability, insomnia, mood swings, decreased bowel motility, and, in extreme cases, death.