Directory

Entries are listed below in alphabetical order. (One-star and "hidden" entries have been filtered out, for your own protection...) Also, for easier access, try the Best Of or Feeling Lucky pages.

The ratings are according to my own whim. If you disagree with a rating and care to say so, send me a note.

• $1.84 (October 25, 2005) A small duffel bag of dirty laundry and a dollar and eighty-four cents in my pocket. Dirty jeans and a cheap, ratty sweater.  
• (Not) Common (June 12, 2006) or, Afternoon in the Park  
• (Not) Nova Scotia (June 7, 2006) I decide to go to Nova Scotia.  
• 11 (September 11, 2005) Two months ago, I started seeing 11:11 on the clock...  
• 2 (June 23, 2006) On the one hand, the need to be special. On the other hand, the need to belong.  
• 5,999,999 to Go (January 28, 2008) One reason to go on dates: it narrows the field.  
• 60 Seconds Under a Black Star (February 1, 2006) I was running late because I had forgotten to set my alarm.  
• A Better Mousetrap (April 15, 2006) The first time it was the sound. It was just after I had moved into the apartment, and the place was piled with broken-down cardboard  
• A Definition of Irony (November 16, 2006) I would like to posit a theory, based on the evidence provided by two of the more famous Irishmen—Sam Beckett and James Joyce.  
• A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the— (February 27, 2006) Technically my birthday had already been over for a few hours when I stepped into the busy street without looking.  
• A Tale of Two CDs (February 11, 2006) So many of my digital obsessions stem from my ongoing struggle with insomnia.  
• A Visitors' Guide to Crazy (December 30, 2005) First of all, that thing that you are doing now: it is not crazy. It is normal. Everyone talks to themselves.  
• All the Paintings in the World (July 3, 2006) I remember helping a friend move out of his apartment and finding a Picasso in his closet.  
• All-Star (July 22, 2005) I have a friend who is a playwright, which is a little bit like saying I have a friend who is a mime or I have a friend who is a professional curler.  
• Alt-Country (October 16, 2007) Lost my job, my house, my truck.  
• America's Fantasyland (March 14, 2004) The golden age of New Zealand cinema is at hand.  
• An Example of What the Zen Call "Monkey Mind" (May 1, 2004) It is 75 degrees here in Brooklyn, the first reminder that it gets hot here in the summer.  
• An Inconvenient Syllogism (October 12, 2007) Now that Al Gore has won the Nobel Prize for Peace...  
• Antimonious (April 21, 2006) Adjective. Given to complicating otherwise simple situations in order to make life more of a struggle, and therefore more interesting.   
• Apartment of the Damned (July 13, 2006) In a rapid succession of demoralizing news, I learned that I will not be moving into a sweet new dream apartment  
• Are You Lonely? (June 18, 2005) No, not particularly. But if that is true, why did I pick up this pamphlet..  
• Astrological Ashram (November 14, 2007) I spend the morning reading blogs much better than mine  
• At End of Road (August 2, 2006) Videogames get a bad rap.  
• Aural Tradition (April 14, 2006) Last week, I lost my entire music collection.  
• Auto-Summarize (August 20, 2005) Hello. Hi there. You in the back - welcome.  
• Automobiles, Bombs, and Movies! (November 14, 2004) As our elections fall more and more into the domain of a   
• Autoschadenfreude (October 14, 2005) Noun. A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of yourself.  
• Autoschadenfreude, pt. 2 (May 20, 2008) I saw something today that made me want to coin a new defnition of "autoschadenfreude,"...  
• B2 or Not B2, that is the question. (September 11, 2006) When I first moved to Boston, I stayed in a condo with a roof deck that gave me a striking view of the city skyline  
• Back to School (September 14, 2006) I am a grumpy old man.  
• Band Aid (January 2, 2008) Anything that can be fixed with a Band Aid wasn't broken to begin with...  
• Bardo (January 5, 2007) For no reason, I have been waking around dawn, so that without any planning, I have managed to see the sun rise every day of this new year  
• Battleground (October 17, 2004) I am wondering if I will not be able to sleep till after the elections (or till after the inevitable post-election litigation).   
• Because I Can (January 18, 2006) Is it illegal to rip a copy of the anti-piracy movie?  
• Best Disappointing Games of 2007  (January 14, 2008) You have to love something before it can break your heart.  
• Beyond Reproach (May 30, 2005) Why is it so hard to step back and take a good critical look at the ones we love?  
• Biennial Minimalism (August 16, 2005) One advantage of moving every couple of years is the purging of so much accumulated crap.  
• Blunt Trauma to the Head (December 31, 2007) Hi there. I saw you from across the room. I couldn't help but notice you looking at me. And winking.   
• Bogus (November 11, 2004) Sean Penn has had his share of words on domestic and world politics since Fast Times at Ridgemont High  
• Boot-Strapping (July 14, 2007) There is a moment in Werner Herzogs new film, Rescue Dawn, when, after weeks of planning their escape from a prisoner of war camp in Laos, a character just vomits.  
• Breakdown / Metaphors (June 15, 2006)   
• Breakfast of Champions (February 21, 2006) When I was in my early twenties, there was a while I ate breakfast cereal almost exclusively.  
• Brownout (July 21, 2005) New York suffers slowly through its heat wave: the air conditioners sputter and spit, and finally the lights flicker, dim, and go out.  
• Burning Bridges (February 2, 2008) Despite its common idiomatic usage, "burning your bridges" is not something you do in order to force yourself forward.  
• Buy-a-Baby (May 2, 2008) You too can have your very own Alina, Emily or Abigail. Act now.  
• Camera Adds Ten (October 10, 2006) I do not recognize myself.  
• Canny (September 3, 2006) Once a year, around Labor Day, my liberal-arts-educated family gets together for an almost scientific, Mr. Wizard sort of holiday:  
• Cat, Out of Bag, Releases Tongue  (June 19, 2008) I'm a terrible keeper of secrets.  
• Caution Curves (October 20, 2007) There must be a word for that sudden, inexplicable urge to drive your car into a telephone pole.  
• Caveatemptoraphobia (March 14, 2008) See also, pessimism.  
• Change of Address (July 23, 2007) I find these "change of address" messages a little embarrassing.  
• Charity, Chastity (March 8, 2008) He touched me, twice, softly, his fingertips brushing my arm.  
• Chemical Imbalance (March 23, 2005) I had not seen my sister in three months and the first words out of her mouth: Are you going bald?  
• Chicken Soup (November 17, 2007) Chicken soup is a food we only eat when we are sick, which means it is a food we can never quite taste when we eat it.  
• Chickens (September 8, 2005) The weather in Boston has been beautiful, the subway in Boston has been slow, and the conjunction of those two facts has meant that I walk.  
• Chickens, pt. 2 (October 2, 2005) I was out of coat hangers.   
• Chicory (October 29, 2006) I have started drinking chicory coffee.  
• Christopher is ... (December 19, 2007) Only a very vain, very bored person would post a month's worth of Facebook "status updates" as a blog entry.  
• Chutes and Ladders (April 4, 2008) That's a metaphor, not reality.  
• Climbing Up the Walls (July 20, 2005) Do other people do this? I found a song last night I can't stop listening to, and...  
• Cloudscape (March 20, 2008) I am sitting in that chair in the corner of my bedroom, and my hand is bleeding.  
• Clutter and Kindness (November 21, 2007) The clutter at this house is fantastic; there is not a single bit of surface area that has not been piled twice over.  
• Coathanger Lobotomy (October 13, 2007)   
• Coming Soon, to a Mob Near You (March 7, 2008) Now might be the time to pick up an iPhone—before it changes forever.  
• Command Line Existential Crisis (April 25, 2008) $ whatis whoami  
• Computer Head (February 11, 2005) I have had my head in a computer for days now, and it has had an unsettling effect that I call, simply,   
• Constituting or amounting to a whole (March 24, 2005) They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery—but what about stealing?  
• Conversation with Blog  (January 25, 2008)   
• Cover Her (March 21, 2005) Aw shucks. I have not made fun of Britney in over a year.  
• Crossing Guard (March 28, 2008) Every day, on every corner, their guardian angels are there to protect them, and help them home.  
• Dark Ages (October 14, 2006) On September 4, 476 A.D., child-emperor Romulus Augustus was removed from power—but the Rome was not unbuilt in a day.  
• Days of Moving Slowly (December 20, 2005) We were glued to the TV late on Thursday night, because all three of us had places to be early the next morning.  
• De-Construction (May 30, 2008) It's not a fine day at all. The sky is falling, and we're running to tell the king!  
• Death in Texas (February 22, 2008) Maybe you watched last night's Democratic debate on CNN. Maybe you heard the booing.  
• Death in the Afternoon (December 5, 2007) Today a loyal and stalwart friend of mine passed away, but before you start drafting your sympathy cards, I should clarify: this old friend is a computer.  
• Death of the Author (April 5, 2005) When Donnie Darko was released during the 2001 Sundance Film Festival, first-time   
• Deeper and Deeper (June 2, 2005) To be honest, I don't give a damn who "Deep Throat" was.  
• Deucelion. Gomorrah. New Orleans. (September 2, 2005) It is a kind of perversion, is it not, to be sitting here flipping through Internet photos of suffering, looking for the "best" ones?  
• Dharma.com (June 5, 2005) I got it in my head that I needed a new computer—as if four weren't enough.  
• Disaster, Guilt, and Convergence of the Twain (January 6, 2005) I liked my life better when I was a regular reader of the LA Weekly.  
• Disimportant (July 12, 2006) The air conditioner cannot cut through the damp heat of the apartment.  
• Do No Evil (March 19, 2008) Hillary Clinton should step down, and concede the race for the Democratic presidential nomination.  
• Don't Ask, Don't Tell (March 16, 2008) Army of Two gets a few things right  
• Don't Quit Your Day Job  (October 22, 2007) Some of you may have noticed, from the scattered images over the last couple of weeks, that I have taken up painting and I am terrible at it  
• Dressing Up (October 31, 2006) I have this pair of pants. "Slacks," but I've always hated that word.  
• Dynamite! (December 1, 2007) If it weren't already completely clear that Hillary Clinton is the heir apparent to the Oval Office, it became a little more so yesterday.  
• Election Night Haiku (November 8, 2006) A text message haiku (of sorts) from a friend.  
• Elsewhere (July 15, 2005) Oh, Gentle Reader.  I try to be honest with you.  I do.  But...  
• Embrace the Kafka (February 4, 2005) They say people are creatures of habit, and I am no exception. I have a favorite mailbox, at the northwest corner of 34th Street and 7th Avenue.  
• Emergency Preparedness (November 19, 2007) I hear the chirp from a walkie talkie outside my window, and see a small group of police standing next to my apartment. And a fire truck.  
• End of an Era (June 3, 2007) I swore to lay off the blog till something changed. No point in rehashing the same sad story over and over. Well, my friends: the time has come.  
• Errand (August 27, 2004) Noun. An expedition involving the acquisition of some good, usually perceived as essential, when in fact completely unnecessary.   
• Escapism is underrated (September 17, 2005) Still trying to settle into this new job and digest this new city.  
• Everywhere You Go, There You Aren't (October 12, 2006) You wake up before the alarm and you're completely disoriented.  
• Experiments in Magnetic Poetry (pt. 1) (October 1, 2007) poetry magnets  
• Experiments in Magnetic Poetry (pt. 2) (October 11, 2007) poetry magnets  
• Experiments in Magnetic Poetry (pt. 3) (October 18, 2007) poetry magnets  
• Fables of the Deconstruction (November 12, 2006) When I was younger, I used to drink to feel free. Now I drink to feel younger.  
• False Face (March 15, 2006) In a month of emotional upsets, I got an unexpected one the other day from what I thought would have been emotionally safe territory: MySpace  
• Fathers' Day (June 11, 2008) Two stories, each one terrible in its own way...  
• Faultline (July 27, 2005) It took a family emergency—not even my own familiy, or my own emergency—to put all of my more menial worries into a proper perspective.   
• Fewer / Farther Between (May 12, 2005) I'd like to start with a public "Thank you" to the people who have expressed concern.  
• File Under 'Pathos' (February 18, 2008) So in the case of undifferentiated pain, what do you do?   
• Fire Drill (June 27, 2008) Why do these things always happen to me?  
• Fish in the Sea (August 6, 2006) How gracious, how benign, is Solitude.  
• Fitter, Happier (January 21, 2008) To help channel the anger that I've been piling up against the universe, this week I joined a gym...  
• Flunking Out of Electoral College (November 7, 2004) The population of Wyoming is roughly half a million; the state gets three electoral votes. California has fifty-five electoral votes - 18 times as many as Wyoming - but 70 times as many people.  
• Foggy (July 8, 2005) Today, all the world's eyes are on London, and so were mine. But...  
• Food Court (March 27, 2007) The inventor of the food court should get some kind of Congressional medal, because I can't think of anything that better encapsulates the way Americans live.  
• For Crying Out Loud (March 14, 2005) I'm on my way to work, right?, minding my own business.  
• Forecasting (December 10, 2005) Each weekday, Weather.com posts an email to my BlackBerry, warning me what weather I can expect for the foreseeable future.  
• Formative Years (July 30, 2005) I stumbled on some writing I'd done a while back, and found out that, before blogs, I was doing more or less exactly what I'm doing now.  
• Fortress of Solitude (April 17, 2008) It was another routine day in Metropolis for Superman...  
• Forty-seven hours, fifteen minutes (February 26, 2005) Sorry not to have written in all this time. You might say I've been away. In fact, you might say I've been "far, far away."   
• Freaks and Geeks (November 19, 2005) I slipped away early. I needed to see for myself if what I'd heard was true: Voldemort was back.  
• Fresh Perspective (August 12, 2005) I picked up a Visitor Pass from the MBTA and tried to get off at as many train stops as I could squeeze into a day.  
• Fridge Full of Condiments and No Food (April 16, 2008) Current inventory of the refrigerator, as of April 16:  
• Fucking Hillary Clinton (February 4, 2008) The ice cubes in my glass freeze together head to head, like a kiss.  
• Fun (January 22, 2006) The following entry is long. It is not particularly pithy, profound, or well-written. It contains scenes of vampire violence. Most of all, it is not fun.   
• Funny thing is... (May 11, 2005) I don't remember ever having been the Easter Bunny.  
• Furniture (October 4, 2005) Think about your furniture.  
• Furniture, pt. 2 (February 7, 2006) If, as I claimed earlier, the abandoning of furniture over the course of our lives is symbolic of all of the other things we leave behind, then the opposite is also true:  
• Furniture, pt. 3 (April 3, 2006) This happens every time:  
• Furniture, pt. 4 (July 29, 2006) Having realized that changing apartments is not an easy, sure-fire path to happiness , I set down the harder road, and redecorate.  
• Game Over (December 3, 2007) When the course of human history is set, it's not usually set by fat guys in bad t-shirts who spend all their time playing videogames.   
• Gassy (July 7, 2005) The Bush Administration is finally willing to concede that there might be a connection between carbon emissions and global warming.  
• Ghost in the Machine (July 5, 2006) A long time ago, we used to be friends.  
• Ghost in the Machine, pt. 2 (July 7, 2006) What was I watching when your careworn face showed up on screen?  
• God of Small (White) Things (October 5, 2007) The Darjeeling Limited is like a dollhouse made of marzipan...  
• Gordian Knot (April 28, 2006) "The sheer variety and volume of completed projects indicates a restless and determined spirit.... However..."  
• Greed, Lust (March 12, 2008) The most-asked question in New York these days: what was he thinking???  
• Guess Things Happen That Way (November 23, 2005) The Christian right must be thrilled to find a sudden, unexpected friend in that modern-day Gomorrah, liberal Hollywood.   
• Haiku (November 16, 2005) The days are long and my butt gets bigger. Outside, a gentle rain falls.  
• Hanging by a Thread (July 27, 2008) A few years ago, toward the end of a troubled love affair, I went clothes shopping, and bought a pair of pants.  
• Hardback Demographic (February 24, 2006) Walking out of the Barnes and Noble tonight with a heavier-than-usual bag in my hand, I realized that I'd crossed over, finally, into the hardback demographic  
• Having Cake Versus Eating It (June 6, 2007) When does anyone ever, ever have cake without eating it too? I thought that's what having cake was...  
• Hazy (July 9, 2005) In case I haven't been clear on this, I'm not a supporter of the current U.S. president or his policies.  
• Hip-Hop Gandhi and the End of Time (November 9, 2007) Waking life is alright—some interesting things happen there—but the maybe-sad fact is that some of my most powerful experiences happen to me while I'm sleeping  
• Hitler's Birthday (April 20, 2008) Kitsch of evil.  
• Home / Away From Home (August 28, 2005) I had an apartment in Hollywood a while back and I lived there for many happy years.   
• Home / Away From Home, pt. 2 (September 25, 2005) The Fung Wah bus lurches through traffic, somewhere in interminable Connecticut, on another leg of its Sisyphian circuit between Boston and New York.  
• Home / Sweet Home (October 1, 2005) I moved today, and I'm not sure how to make an entertaining story out of two dozen trips up and down the stairs.  
• Hotels (part one) (December 11, 2005) Lobbies: the privacy of public spaces (and vice versa)  
• Housekeeping (October 21, 2006) Metaphors are everywhere. Today I engaged in the apparently linguistically-simple task of housekeeping:  
• How cellophane (July 15, 2007) Sometimes it's as though the aliens are reaching out to us, or the dolphins.  
• Hyper-Mourning (March 11, 2007) My sister and I have quite a few separate theories about how Severus Snape isn't really evil and how Dumbledore isn't really dead.  
• I ♥ Christmas (December 29, 2005) Nothing brings out my latent entrepreneurial spirit like Christmas.   
• I + NY (August 3, 2007) I thought as soon as I moved, I'd transform into a prolific blogger. But...  
• I Never Hear The Word  (April 17, 2005) When an Emily Dickenson poem speaks to you offering up life advice, be very very careful.  
• I Think We're Turning Japanese, I Really Think So (May 24, 2008) The Whitney Biennial at The Gap; Takashi Murakami in your house...  
• I'm Not Funny (January 12, 2005) I watched Billy Madison this week and I didn't like it.   
• i/Pod (July 24, 2006) When I worked for Apple Computer, people would come to me with their iPod and ask, "What does the 'i' stand for?"  
• Identity Theft (January 18, 2005) I'm writing about the other Chris DeWan, Bizarro Chris DeWan, my doppelganger...  
• Imelda Marcos Syndrome (January 18, 2008)   
• In Extremis (June 22, 2008) Once I'm dead, I'm perfect.  
• In Search of Lost Time (May 31, 2008) Having answered the dramatic question that has tied together an otherwise-twining series ("How will they get off the island?"), the writers offered another, unexpected one: How will they get back?  
• Incontrovertible Proof of the Existence of God  (November 27, 2007) God exists and I can prove it.  
• Independents Day (July 4, 2007) First, a sincere thank you to our President and Commander-in-Chief, for giving his largely-complacent electorate a good reason to review the wise words of our Forefathers.  
• Inexplicable, Moving (December 30, 2007) During a recent trip to the Guggenheim, I decide I'm done with modernity. Whatever that means.  
• Insomnia (May 30, 2006) The sky is a lush curtain of purple and the house I'm in is washed out of any other color  
• Instant Classic (September 20, 2005) bush  
• Interference (October 30, 2006) There's this sort of time card thing we use at work so we can keep track of how much time we're spending on any particular thing.  
• Intro to Philosophy (February 19, 2008) My life has been a series of apostasies, and I blame this on Norman Kretzmann.  
• Inverse Spring Cleaning (November 5, 2007) My parents came up this weekend. A three-hour drive up, a ninety-minute brunch, and then a three-hour drive back.   
• IP Issues (October 12, 2005) I don't have a TV. Now you probably think I'm this haughty guy who listens to NPR and likes to kill everyone's buzz by announcing that I don't have a TV.  
• It's About the Power, Stupid (May 16, 2004) Donald Rumsfeld, Meet Nick Couldry. Nick Couldry, Donald Rumsfeld.  
• It's Getting Hot in Here (January 28, 2005) I get live, up-to-date weather reports reminding me how searingly cold it is outside. But inside, it's hot hot hot.  
• Jon Stewart for President (October 16, 2004) It's hard not to think of this as the most interesting TV moment of a generation.  
• Just Because You're Paranoid (October 14, 2004)   
• Just Like Summer Camp (August 11, 2005) I want very much to regale you all with stories about my adventures since I arrived yesterday in Boston.  
• Kindness (June 24, 2006) I wonder if I'm too nice.  
• Klaus Kinski's Hairline (December 20, 2006) Fitzcarraldo marches through the jungle wearing a white suit, a wild-eyed look, and hair that looks  
• Kurt Cobain's Stomach (May 21, 2008) If rock'n'roll is a menace to society, then maybe it's because we're all so ill-equipped to pick our own role models.  
• L'Obsédant de Tour (July 16, 2005) I'm obsessed. It happens every year, around this time, and it's hard to explain why, exactly, I fixate on the Tour de France.  
• La Conspiración (December 14, 2004) The guacamole—in addition to be fresh and chock full of avocados—is, apparently,  
• La Dolce Vita (July 28, 2006)   
• La Joie de Weblog (May 17, 2006) En route to typing this much up, I notice joie is feminine, joie is a four-letter word. So I'm guessing the ennui hasn't passed.  
• Laugh Track (February 28, 2008) If you use Gmail, you probably barely notice the ads. Or maybe, like me, you take them personally.  
• Left Weave Girl (March 3, 2006) There's a cute girl I keep seeing around town, and I run into her again outside of The Gap.   
• Let's Go Cyrodiil (October 19, 2006) Looking for quiet sailing by the beach, hiking in rugged, snow-capped mountains, or just to swap stories at a tavern and watch a show? The province of Cyrodiil has it all.  
• Letters of Recommendation (April 19, 2006) DubAllStar409: so I really like chris  
• Libertarianism (January 5, 2008) lib-er-tar-i-an-ism. Noun.   
• Like Coffee with Your Cream? (February 17, 2005) It's Thursday and it's my third time to Starbucks in a week. I'm not the kind of person who goes to Starbucks. And yet  
• Like I Need a Hole in My Head (December 16, 2005) On this particular spring day, a Sunday, the DJ announced that it was "Blindness Appreciation Day."  
• Liminal's Revenge (June 27, 2005) For some reason, I keep thinking of a family vacation we took to New England when I was young, maybe four, barely old enough to remember anything.  
• Litmus Test (December 4, 2007) Tomorrow will be:  
• Little House in the Big Woods (July 20, 2008) Perhaps it's a pitfall of big city living  
• Little Yellow Envelope (May 9, 2006) I had a fantasy that by moving to Boston, to a place I had nothing and knew no one, I'd have some peace and quiet, and in the quiet, I'd be able to figure things out.   
• Living the iLife (i) (December 5, 2004) I'd been working for Apple Computer, hawking iPods for nearly a year, when I remembered "The Museum of Me."  
• Long Division (March 5, 2008) At the end of love, where does the love go?  
• Lost (We Are) (October 11, 2006) I've watched only the first few episodes of ABC's Lost—and I'm already seeing it as the moral allegory of our time.  
• Lost and Found (April 29, 2005) inverse blog  
• Love in the Time of Bird Flu (February 14, 2006) There are people I love in the world, but none within two-hundred miles.  
• Lying Naked and Face Down (January 22, 2008) Nominations are in for the next James Dean, and we have a winner.  
• Lying Naked and Face Down (pt. 2)  (January 24, 2008) Today, I found myself walking by Xxx Bxxxxx St in Soho, and also Xxx Hxxx St in Brooklyn...  
• Man of Leisure (February 17, 2008) I'm reminded of an essay from Jock Young's 1971 book, The Drugtakers  
• Maniacs (December 3, 2004)   
• Marathon Monday (April 16, 2006) At first, I skimmed over the emails on Friday that signed off, "Have a great holiday!"  
• May Contain Traces of Peanuts (January 4, 2008) Think about the last time the Democrats elected a young, smart, idealistic   
• Measure Twice, Cut (at) Once (March 2, 2008) Manhattan's a tough town, miserly with its second chances, and dating is no exception.   
• Metaphors in a Nutshell (or, The Philosophy of C#)  (August 26, 2005) computers  
• Middle of the Night (February 6, 2008) We watched light through the window...  
• Misunderestimations (and Vitriol) (November 6, 2004)   
• Movie of My Life (pt. 3) (August 22, 2005)   
• Multiple Personality Disorder (May 31, 2004)   
• My Bad Taste (November 23, 2007)   
• My Evil is Strong (September 24, 2006)   
• My Friend Tom (October 10, 2007)   
• My Girlfriend (November 12, 2005)   
• Nail-Biting / Thumb-Sucking (August 8, 2006)   
• Napoleon, Retreating from Moscow (August 21, 2007)   
• Narcissus (March 1, 2005) Seems like the world sorts into two kinds of folk: the people who smile big when the waitress comes along with the cupcake singing the birthday song, and the people who want to crawl under the table.  
• Nature Abhors a Vacuum (January 9, 2005)   
• New! (July 27, 2006)   
• Nobody Likes Tarragon (January 14, 2005)   
• Noodles (October 10, 2005)   
• Not News (March 4, 2008) Every major news outlet this morning reported that today might be the day that the Democratic race for president gets decided.  
• Not Something You Think Every Day (Hopefully) (June 14, 2007)   
• Notebooks (December 18, 2006)   
• November Surprise (November 5, 2006)   
• Offline (June 30, 2006)   
• Oil / Rigged (March 19, 2005)   
• On the Head of a Pin (March 31, 2008) Luc Besson's Angel-A  
• On the Road (October 22, 2005) It's like a dream. There's some kind of country music coming from the car stereo and no traffic on the road.  
• On the Veranda (November 7, 2007) It's going to be another one of those days, by which I mean frustrating.  
• Once You've Been in Serenity... (March 11, 2005) whedon  
• One Way Ticket (February 7, 2008) I resolved that if she got off at my stop, I would talk to her, ask her to coffee, ask her something.  
• Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny (April 7, 2006)   
• Open Call (July 5, 2005)   
• Open Letter to Senator Barack Obama (February 13, 2008) I'd like to begin by saying what Clinton seems unable to say: congratulations.  
• Operation: Dystopia (June 7, 2008) Life at the End of Oil  
• Oy vey (May 28, 2008) Visiting Bostonite, noticing that New York has fewer Dunkin Donuts franchises:  
• Paint on the Palette (August 19, 2005) I've had six-hundred thousand impressions each day and I can''t manage to focus them into a single thought.  
• Pandora's (Boom) Box (December 9, 2005)   
• Pantone 381U (September 27, 2006)   
• Pantone 700U (March 30, 2008) is the color of my face flushed with fever.  
• Pantone 7499U (March 29, 2008) is the color of my ashen face.  
• Paris (November 4, 2007) First, I nearly missed the plane.  
• Party's Over (November 9, 2006)   
• Perchance To (March 15, 2007) Have I told you about the dreams?  
• Phenomena / Noumena (October 14, 2007)   
• Please Play Again (April 12, 2005) itunes  
• Pom Reading (February 7, 2005)   
• Postcards from the West (March 30, 2006) Dear Rxxxxxx...  
• Pot Rack (January 9, 2006)   
• Precious Time  (February 24, 2008) I get it in my head that I need a watch.  
• Projectile Sputum (January 23, 2005)   
• Raison d'être (December 4, 2005) During my week-plus hiatus from blogging, I've been mulling a few ideas I think might be interesting, but whenever I sit down and start typing, all that comes out are little blips about Veronica Mars.  
• Reach for the Stars (February 19, 2005) Forget about Chuck Yeager; he's so 1983. The movie-going public is currently zeroed in on a different breed of test pilot, thanks to Martin Scorsese's biopic The Aviator.  
• Reaching the Pegbox (January 16, 2008) The thing is: you are not the primary agent of your life.  
• Recycling (May 22, 2005) meta  
• Red No. 32 (September 20, 2007)   
• Redisenfranchisement (April 24, 2008)   
• Reflexive (March 7, 2006) In the moment that I realize I've fallen out of love, it's like having a tooth pulled.   
• Relocating (July 25, 2008) is temporary.  
• Repeal the Constitution! (July 9, 2008) or, Unindependence Day  
• Resolve (January 2, 2006)   
• Return to the Valley of the Blogs (March 9, 2007)   
• Ridiculous Ironic Dilemma (June 18, 2006)   
• Rilke for Retards (June 4, 2006) She was in my "cohort", and because of it we knew each other well, knew each other's secrets.  
• Roast, Well Done (May 1, 2006)   
• Rock and a Hard Place (March 31, 2005) music  
• Sad Strangers, Photographed Beautifully (December 8, 2004)   
• Sainthood (March 25, 2005) george bush  
• Salt in the Wound (July 12, 2005)   
• Same Sherpa, Different Urb (August 10, 2005)   
• Savasana is Hard (October 15, 2007) The practice of yoga is about contorting the body into awkward positions with funny names, so as to inflict so much searing intensity upon your limbs that it shuts out the ceaseless chatter of the brain.  
• Savasana is Hard (pt. 2) (October 19, 2007) My yoga teacher walks around the class, correcting people's postures. She stops next to my mat, watches, and finally says...  
• Scotland is the New Manchester (December 30, 2004)   
• Scream (April 24, 2005)   
• Search Engine Blew a Gasket (ii) (April 9, 2005) inverse blog  
• Seven Days (July 12, 2007)   
• Sex in the City (June 10, 2008) As if finding a loved one in New York City weren't enough...  
• Shades of Gray (November 18, 2004)   
• Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, drive fast.
  (No tenemos...) (February 22, 2005)   
• Slow News Month (January 14, 2006)   
• Smudge Stick (November 26, 2007)   
• Snow Job (March 16, 2007)   
• Solipsist in a Hall of Mirrors (November 4, 2006)   
• Sounds of Silence (March 23, 2008) Gus Van Sant's Paranoid Park  
• Spam-o-Rator (January 28, 2006) It took me a little while to recognize the signs.  
• Spinning Wheels (January 29, 2006)   
• Spotless (January 3, 2005) The ha-ha, very funny joke in these parts lately is that,   
• Squishy Jeans (June 10, 2006)   
• Start Spreading the News (July 29, 2005)   
• State of the Union (November 8, 2005)   
• Stay on Target (July 25, 2004)   
• Stingy (January 7, 2005)   
• Stinks (July 17, 2005)   
• Stories in Stone (September 18, 2005)   
• Stranger Than Fiction (June 20, 2005)   
• Structure from motion at equiluminance (February 14, 2008) Memories are painted on acidic paper and in fugitive colors  
• Suicide for Dummies (February 16, 2008) Are you thinking of killing yourself? Feeling all alone? Go for it.  
• Sunset in Boston, pt. 2 (June 10, 2007)   
• Sunshine. Springtime. Shopping Mall. (May 20, 2006)   
• Super Bowl Tuesday (February 5, 2008) It all comes down to this. A chance at immortality. Because history is written by the winners.   
• Syncopation (June 19, 2006)   
• Syndicated Communists (September 1, 2006)   
• Tastes Like Chicken (January 12, 2008)   
• Technology and the Theatre (pt. 1) (February 10, 2008) Indulge me for a minute.  
• Terminal B (March 29, 2007)   
• Texas Chainsaw Massacre (May 3, 2005) george bush  
• That Guy (December 12, 2007) It's that guy. That insomniac road crew guy who runs the jack-hammer. He's at it again.  
• The Aesthetics of Emotional Minimalism (November 11, 2005)   
• The Best That Alternate Reality Has to Offer (January 1, 2008) The rollover from one year to the next has flooded the Internet with all the expected and requisite proclamations, summations and   
• The Bogeyman (February 21, 2008) The bogeyman came over last night, and he wasn't as scary as I'd remembered.  
• The Country of Lost Children (December 18, 2004)  If you watch the trailer to Jean-Pierre Jeunet's A Very Long Engagement, you'll see a sweeping love story set during wartime and shot from some interesting angles.  
• The elephant in the room (July 6, 2005)   
• The End of the World, Again (January 1, 2005)   
• The Finished Form of the Future Catastrophe (March 2, 2006) Some days—and today is definitely one of those days—I wonder why we even bother.  
• The Good Samaritan of Smith Street (July 12, 2008) It was all just a big misunderstanding. It was a whole set of misunderstandings, in rapid succession.  
• The Great Outdoors (April 28, 2008) It's spring, and I'm surrounded by the most beautiful scenes of nature that one could imagine  
• The Highlight of My Week (October 26, 2005)   
• The Idealist Versus the Progressive  (February 15, 2008) Are we voting with our heads or with our hearts?  
• The Ids of March (March 15, 2005) I'm crazy. Or at least I was crazy. Or at least there are some pieces of paper somewhere in the world that would indicate that I'm crazy. Or was crazy.  
• The Importance of Being Ernest (July 2, 2005) Here's a story, probably apocryphal, but still good:  
• The Internet is Evil (March 17, 2007) I've said it before and I'll say it again: in a world as big as ours, I'm amazed people are even as nice to each other as they are.  
• The iPhone is Not Jesus (July 11, 2008) Even Gandhi had to wait in line for the new iPhone.  
• The Legacies of Darth Vader (May 31, 2005) The spinal injury also leaves him unable to breathe unaided.   
• The Most Authentic Art in the World (April 5, 2008) In 1940, four teenagers in the south of France fell into a cave and discovered what might be the most authentic art ever made  
• The Movie of My Life (June 1, 2005) You ever play this game?   
• The Obituary (July 6, 2008) Imagine his surprise when he saw the obituary.  
• The Physics of Dirty Dishes (March 5, 2005) "You're the cleanest person I know," she says, as I wipe down the counter, and it's impossible for me not to wonder—How skanky are her other friends?  
• The Rise of the Creative Corporal (January 16, 2005)   
• The Shortest Days (December 21, 2007) The cost of sleeping till 11am is greater on these shortest days of the year...  
• The Simple Life (February 3, 2006)   
• The Softer Side of Suicide (May 3, 2006)   
• The World According to Facebook (March 27, 2008) Yesterday, my mother asked me about the well-being of my sister's husband's brother's wife's father.  
• The Wraths of Grape (June 1, 2006)   
• The Year of Living Quietly (December 31, 2005)   
• Therapy (May 17, 2005)   
• There's No Place Like Texas (pt. 1) (January 3, 2008) I want to click together the heels of my cowboy boots and say   
• These Are My Hands (April 9, 2008) There's a fire in my kitchen.  
• Things to Do in Paris When You're Dead  (October 28, 2007)   
• Thinking of Elephants (October 22, 2006) It's that time of year. The air is getting crisp, the leaves are starting to turn, and the Democrats are getting hopeful. Silly Democrats.  
• This Is Your Life (December 12, 2004) You wake up a little before sunrise. You sit up but you can't see; you have a cracked pair of glasses around somewhere but who knows where.  
• This Old House (April 7, 2008) A friend and I were recently talking about Walden.  
• This So-Called Idolatry (February 14, 2005)   
• Those Were the Days (Ode to Hunter?) (March 6, 2005)   
• Time Lapse (May 11, 2008) There is the version of the story of our lives that we tell ourselves we're living, and then there is the version we're actually living.  
• Time Lapse, pt. 2 (June 23, 2008) Negative Space  
• Time Lapse, pt. 3 (June 24, 2008) Waking from Sleep  
• To Whom It May Concern (June 15, 2006)   
• Tonight I Can't Write the Saddest Lines (August 12, 2006) The thing about poetry—  
• Toward the End of iLife (September 19, 2007)   
• Trick or Treat (October 29, 2005)   
• Triskaidekaphobia (June 13, 2006)   
• TV 2.0 (February 6, 2006)   
• Unholy Alliance (April 3, 2005) george bush  
• Unmitigated Evil (March 3, 2005) Unmitigated evil lives in me. I know this because   
• Unrecycling (May 1, 2008) Like so many of my fellow Americans, I am deeply concerned about fossil fuel consumption and the resulting effects on the global climate.  
• Unusual Cognition (October 25, 2007)   
• Up On Blocks (February 12, 2005)   
• Up Over the Manhattan Bridge Overpass (May 8, 2008) I walk home from work, five and a half miles door-to-door.  
• Vacation to Saturn (January 19, 2005)   
• Vegan (January 17, 2008) ve-gan. Noun.  
• Very (November 13, 2006)   
• Victoria's Other Secret (April 18, 2008) A side of ...  
• Visine Poisoning (April 9, 2005)   
• Want-Induced Psychosis (pt. 1) (January 6, 2008) By the time we end a relationship, usually the person we loved is already gone.  
• Want-Induced Psychosis (pt. 2) (January 9, 2008) I was young and romantic and at the beginning of a great adventure, and I knew it, and she was too, and she knew it.  
• Want-Induced Psychosis (pt. 3) (January 31, 2008) No matter what is next, the Golden Age is over.  
• Warning Signs: Lost at Sea (October 17, 2007)   
• Wave of Humility (December 31, 2004)   
• WebMD (November 15, 2006)   
• Welcome to Middle-Class Poverty (July 20, 2004)   
• What a View (November 27, 2004) Yesterday a man jumped from the observation deck of the Empire State Building, fell eighty stories to a sixth-floor landing, and died instantly. His name and motives are unknown.  
• What I Like (May 29, 2008) For the last week, I've been followed around by a robot.  
• What Would Jason Do? (November 16, 2007) Walking by the Gare de L'Est on my way out of Paris, I got a sense of déjà vu...  
• When He Surrounded Himself... (February 12, 2008) He contemplated: what was the best way to eat everything?  
• Where Every American Dream Goes to Die (May 3, 2008) I'm not a very good driver. You should know that, first of all.  
• Where is My Mind? (August 30, 2006) "Stop."  
• Where Trains Make Sense (December 1, 2006)   
• White Lies, pt. 1 (July 28, 2008) "What's that?," she asked, at the rustling of the underbrush in Tompkins Square.  
• Why I Can't Relate to Humanity (January 20, 2008) (video)  
• Winona Forever (May 7, 2005)   
• Work (March 17, 2006)   
• Working from Home (August 6, 2007) Am I just cutting out one-quarter of my life's excitement?  
• World War CO2 (February 9, 2008) When Joseph Romm lists the litany of reasons that a vote for McCain in the upcoming presidential election would be a disaster for the global environment, he also describes what he thinks is needed to arrest global warming.  
• You Know You've Made It When (November 5, 2005) You know you've made it when you get yourself a $179 trash can.  
• Your Inner Toon (July 15, 2006)