Oil / Rigged

Happy anniversary! Do you know where you were two years ago today, when the United States launched its war on Iraq? I was in a bar in Los Angeles, catching up with some friends, and pontificating, the way one does when one's nation goes to war, the way one does when in a bar and catching up with friends.

"Bullshit," one of them said, as the fireworks exploded over Baghdad. "Bullshit," agreed another.

"No, no, it all makes sense," I pontificated, "if the Bush Administration knows something we don't. It makes complete sense if they know something they're not telling us."

There was some unanimous conspiracy-theory eye-rolling, but they let me continue.

"Bush and Cheney called their old pals at Enron to advise on the energy policy, right? The Enron guys came and talked, and what they actually said is a secret to this day. Well, here's my theory:

"Enron comes to D.C. to explain we're out of oil. 'The world is just about empty. We tell people there are reserves to last 100 years, 200 years, but we're making those numbers up. In fact, we're looking at more like 10 years. The well has run dry.'

"So the energy policy, according to Enron, goes like this:

1. Attempt to destabilize the current regime in Venezuela and install an American puppet government, so the U.S. can control Latin America's flow of petroleum;
2. Prospect for oil in every square inch of Alaska, including the federally-protected wildlife reserves;
3. Follow up on any possible excuse to invade any oil-rich nation in the Middle East (i.e., Iraq), and/or any Asian country with a major oil pipeline (i.e., Afghanistan).

"So, the Iraqi War is not bullshit. It is an act consistent with a highly-classified energy policy—to seize all available oil-bearing land, before it's too late."

I'd been drinking, so maybe I can be forgiven for my uninformed grand-standing. But let's cut forward two years and a few wars later (I'm counting Iraq, Afghanistan, and the failed coup attempt in Venezuela as "a few"...): the price of crude is hovering at a record-high $57 a barrel, and there's not a thing OPEC can do about it; meanwhile, energy companies are lining up like Sooners at the border of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, waiting for Congress to fire the starter pistol and begin the race for oil exploitation.

Now, a team of researches has published a sobering version of my barroom rant—the revelation that the world's major oil companies are nearly tapped out, that though the world's demand for oil is still steeply rising, its ability to produce oil has already peaked.

Pretty soon, the only thing spouting in the world might be me.

Happy anniversary.

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